"I asked God for strength that I might achieve.
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health that I might do greater things.
I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy.
I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.
I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing I asked for, but everything I hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am, among all men, most richly blessed."
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Peace Be The Journey
So, I realize that I haven't updated this since late June, so I'm going to spend just a few minutes catching you up.
-Summer English Camp for the elementary school was chaotic, with absolutely no adherence to the lesson plan I'd made for it :-P At the middle school, it was a little more chill. I actually might have taught the kids a thing or two there, but we ended up just watching American movies with Korean subtitles.
-Hung out at the church here during the Summer English camp they had for the kids in the community. Fun stuff, got to know some really cool people from California and the East Coast. Even got to jam with my boy Eugene, which is something I haven't had the luxury of doing very often ever since I arrived back in May.
-Visited home for approximately 10 days. Loved it :-) Getting to see my family and friends again was like taking a huge breath of air after being underwater for so long. I honestly couldn't ask for a better community of people to come home to.
-Flew back here to Korea on the 15th. Now trying to get readjusted to the time change, and getting ready to start the middle school next week, along with the elementary school the week after.
Now, on to the reason I started writing this post in the first place.
So I recently watched "Cool Runnings" again for the first time in years, and it still had all the Disney charm it was known for back in the day (it was released back in 1993). The movie itself was pretty good (if you aren't familiar with the storyline, simply check out http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106611/plotsummary), but one scene in the movie really stuck out to me.
Near the end of the movie, when the Jamaican team is poised to medal in the Winter Olympics, the team's driver Derice (whose father was an Olympic sprinter) asks their coach Earl (played by John Candy) for the reason why Earl had cheated during his time as an Olympic bobsledder, and consequently been disgraced and kicked off the Olympic team, even after winning two gold medals previously. Earl responds with this:
"Derice, a gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you're not enough without it... you'll never be enough with it."
The reason this stuck out to me is because of how much it goes against what is taught to these kids that I'm teaching. The vast majority of them seem to have been taught by their culture that it's the things you achieve that define you. And if you don't achieve what you're going for, then you've either done something wrong, or (the more popular opinion for the younger ones) someone else did something wrong.
Now, the American part of me understands where my place is here. I'm the visitor, the tourist, the foreigner here. I have to see things through the lens of the cultural reality here, instead of my theoretical idealism. I can't possibly expect everything here to run the way I think it should.
And then...there's the part of me that recognizes this possibly goes beyond just one culture's methods of raising its collective children. Maybe it has something to do with the consumer mentality we've all been sucked into. Maybe what I'm seeing here isn't the source of the problem, but rather the byproduct of it coming from outside the borders. Maybe we've all been brainwashed already! *** >_< ***
Now, to try and catch myself before I begin ranting again, let's refocus. The reason this stuck out to me as much as it did is because over the past three months, every single time I've tried to play a game with these kids to get them to loosen up (as well as using the games as ways to help the kids learn the material), at least in the elementary school, there is always, ALWAYS at least one kid that ends up crying because he or she didn't win. Always. And I want to shout in the classroom at the top of my lungs, "WINNING ISN'T EVERYTHING! IT'S NOT EVEN THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!" But I don't, because I have to adhere to the rules and boundaries of the social reality here, and that is that if these kids don't learn to excel in competition, they'll be left behind with no one to care for them. I know it sounds grim, and some of you might be thinking, "Stop being so dramatic. There's no way the situation there is as bad as you say it is." You're entitled to think so, but you'd be wrong. Sorry.
I titled the post "Peace Be The Journey" because that's the meaning of Cool Runnings. I know it's cliche, I know it's overplayed, but please don't forsake the joy of the journey for the intended goal. If you do, you only end up with half the reward, sometimes not even that.
Peace be de journey... ~_~
-Summer English Camp for the elementary school was chaotic, with absolutely no adherence to the lesson plan I'd made for it :-P At the middle school, it was a little more chill. I actually might have taught the kids a thing or two there, but we ended up just watching American movies with Korean subtitles.
-Hung out at the church here during the Summer English camp they had for the kids in the community. Fun stuff, got to know some really cool people from California and the East Coast. Even got to jam with my boy Eugene, which is something I haven't had the luxury of doing very often ever since I arrived back in May.
-Visited home for approximately 10 days. Loved it :-) Getting to see my family and friends again was like taking a huge breath of air after being underwater for so long. I honestly couldn't ask for a better community of people to come home to.
-Flew back here to Korea on the 15th. Now trying to get readjusted to the time change, and getting ready to start the middle school next week, along with the elementary school the week after.
Now, on to the reason I started writing this post in the first place.
So I recently watched "Cool Runnings" again for the first time in years, and it still had all the Disney charm it was known for back in the day (it was released back in 1993). The movie itself was pretty good (if you aren't familiar with the storyline, simply check out http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106611/plotsummary), but one scene in the movie really stuck out to me.
Near the end of the movie, when the Jamaican team is poised to medal in the Winter Olympics, the team's driver Derice (whose father was an Olympic sprinter) asks their coach Earl (played by John Candy) for the reason why Earl had cheated during his time as an Olympic bobsledder, and consequently been disgraced and kicked off the Olympic team, even after winning two gold medals previously. Earl responds with this:
"Derice, a gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you're not enough without it... you'll never be enough with it."
The reason this stuck out to me is because of how much it goes against what is taught to these kids that I'm teaching. The vast majority of them seem to have been taught by their culture that it's the things you achieve that define you. And if you don't achieve what you're going for, then you've either done something wrong, or (the more popular opinion for the younger ones) someone else did something wrong.
Now, the American part of me understands where my place is here. I'm the visitor, the tourist, the foreigner here. I have to see things through the lens of the cultural reality here, instead of my theoretical idealism. I can't possibly expect everything here to run the way I think it should.
And then...there's the part of me that recognizes this possibly goes beyond just one culture's methods of raising its collective children. Maybe it has something to do with the consumer mentality we've all been sucked into. Maybe what I'm seeing here isn't the source of the problem, but rather the byproduct of it coming from outside the borders. Maybe we've all been brainwashed already! *** >_< ***
Now, to try and catch myself before I begin ranting again, let's refocus. The reason this stuck out to me as much as it did is because over the past three months, every single time I've tried to play a game with these kids to get them to loosen up (as well as using the games as ways to help the kids learn the material), at least in the elementary school, there is always, ALWAYS at least one kid that ends up crying because he or she didn't win. Always. And I want to shout in the classroom at the top of my lungs, "WINNING ISN'T EVERYTHING! IT'S NOT EVEN THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!" But I don't, because I have to adhere to the rules and boundaries of the social reality here, and that is that if these kids don't learn to excel in competition, they'll be left behind with no one to care for them. I know it sounds grim, and some of you might be thinking, "Stop being so dramatic. There's no way the situation there is as bad as you say it is." You're entitled to think so, but you'd be wrong. Sorry.
I titled the post "Peace Be The Journey" because that's the meaning of Cool Runnings. I know it's cliche, I know it's overplayed, but please don't forsake the joy of the journey for the intended goal. If you do, you only end up with half the reward, sometimes not even that.
Peace be de journey... ~_~
Monday, June 29, 2009
Where no one knows my name...
Wow, has it really almost been 4 weeks since I last posted? I guess I'll try to catch you up on what I can remember.
June 7th, I went to an English language weekend camp that one of the other schools in the area was hosting. My co-teacher and I were assigned the task of storytelling, which meant I would read a short story, and my co-teacher would ask a few questions to the kids to check for comprehension and understanding. Overall fun time. It was also my first time meeting some of the other foreign English teachers in my area (I'd gone about 5 weeks without meeting anyone American), since I live in the country with my family. This means after school gets done at 4:30, I go directly to the bus stop, to the train station, to home.
Later on that same week, I went to a training orientation for all of the new English teachers in our area that are employed through the GEPIK program (Gyeong-Gi-Do English Program In Korea). On the bus, I ended up sitting next to Keith, who reminded me an awful lot of a quiet, glasses-wearing Greg. Through our conversation on the hour-long bus ride, I found I had a lot in common with him. We were both fans of Shane Claiborne and Rob Bell, and he was a piano major from a Christian College in the Midwest, so we chatted up music also. I honestly believe God heard my prayers of anxiety and uncertainty, and reminded me before I even got to the training site that this was an opportunity for me to meet some really cool people and develop friendships that will help me through this time away from home. To make a really long story short, I ended up meeting some incredible people. While I imagine everyone believes that they were in the best group, I honestly believe that the group I was put in was no accident. It was full of warm, intelligent, funny and crazy people who made my time spent there infinitely better than if I had not met them. So I have to take this time to give a shoutout to my A-3 crew!
After that, things swung back to the day-to-day grind at school. I've started to take more of an active role in co-teaching the middle school classes, as well as the conversation class that I teach at the end of the day with all 3 grades. I've also starting working more closely with my main co-teacher at the elementary school. We finished making the lesson plans for the summer camp every English teacher is required to complete. Speaking of summer English camp, I told my principals that I would only be able to teach 7 weekdays of the English camp out of the required 10. Normally, that would be a problem. But my principals have both been really cool about the situation, and they understand, so they're letting the other 3 days slide. Praise God!
It's getting really hot here. I mean, REALLY HOT. I know all of you in Florida are probably rolling your eyes at me, but I am not kidding when I tell you that this kind of hot is something with the potential to drive people insane. And the icing on the cake: the problem isn't that there's no air conditioning. It's almost everywhere. But almost no one uses it! This is infuriating. I wish it was back in May again, when the weather was a mid70s high and a mid50s low, all day, everyday. There's nothing better than that. When it was in the 50s at night and in the morning, I could sleep for 5 hours and wake up completely refreshed and ready to start the day. Now, when the temperature at night and the morning is around the high70s, even if I get 9 or 10 hours of sleep the night before, I'm groggy and irritable when I "wake up" the next morning.
Well, there's been so much spinning around in my head, but I don't have the time to write them all down here, so I'll post again a little later (hopefully). Take care, everyone. And thank you so much for your love and prayers.
June 7th, I went to an English language weekend camp that one of the other schools in the area was hosting. My co-teacher and I were assigned the task of storytelling, which meant I would read a short story, and my co-teacher would ask a few questions to the kids to check for comprehension and understanding. Overall fun time. It was also my first time meeting some of the other foreign English teachers in my area (I'd gone about 5 weeks without meeting anyone American), since I live in the country with my family. This means after school gets done at 4:30, I go directly to the bus stop, to the train station, to home.
Later on that same week, I went to a training orientation for all of the new English teachers in our area that are employed through the GEPIK program (Gyeong-Gi-Do English Program In Korea). On the bus, I ended up sitting next to Keith, who reminded me an awful lot of a quiet, glasses-wearing Greg. Through our conversation on the hour-long bus ride, I found I had a lot in common with him. We were both fans of Shane Claiborne and Rob Bell, and he was a piano major from a Christian College in the Midwest, so we chatted up music also. I honestly believe God heard my prayers of anxiety and uncertainty, and reminded me before I even got to the training site that this was an opportunity for me to meet some really cool people and develop friendships that will help me through this time away from home. To make a really long story short, I ended up meeting some incredible people. While I imagine everyone believes that they were in the best group, I honestly believe that the group I was put in was no accident. It was full of warm, intelligent, funny and crazy people who made my time spent there infinitely better than if I had not met them. So I have to take this time to give a shoutout to my A-3 crew!
After that, things swung back to the day-to-day grind at school. I've started to take more of an active role in co-teaching the middle school classes, as well as the conversation class that I teach at the end of the day with all 3 grades. I've also starting working more closely with my main co-teacher at the elementary school. We finished making the lesson plans for the summer camp every English teacher is required to complete. Speaking of summer English camp, I told my principals that I would only be able to teach 7 weekdays of the English camp out of the required 10. Normally, that would be a problem. But my principals have both been really cool about the situation, and they understand, so they're letting the other 3 days slide. Praise God!
It's getting really hot here. I mean, REALLY HOT. I know all of you in Florida are probably rolling your eyes at me, but I am not kidding when I tell you that this kind of hot is something with the potential to drive people insane. And the icing on the cake: the problem isn't that there's no air conditioning. It's almost everywhere. But almost no one uses it! This is infuriating. I wish it was back in May again, when the weather was a mid70s high and a mid50s low, all day, everyday. There's nothing better than that. When it was in the 50s at night and in the morning, I could sleep for 5 hours and wake up completely refreshed and ready to start the day. Now, when the temperature at night and the morning is around the high70s, even if I get 9 or 10 hours of sleep the night before, I'm groggy and irritable when I "wake up" the next morning.
Well, there's been so much spinning around in my head, but I don't have the time to write them all down here, so I'll post again a little later (hopefully). Take care, everyone. And thank you so much for your love and prayers.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
The Greater Things...
There was an old woman who used to say, "We can do no great things, just small things with great love. It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into doing it." It was Mother Theresa.
In the midst of reading "The Irresistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne for the "n"th time (I really have lost track), the section he dedicates to talking about his experiences working alongside Mother Theresa among the leper colonies of Calcutta struck me with such force that I had to try and put my speeding thoughts down on "paper," so please forgive me if the post seems rushed or doesn't make sense at some points.
Jesus says in John 14:12, "Very truly I tell you, all who have faith in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." Shane writes that though he was hard at work during his time in Calcutta, he "hadn't healed any lepers yet. Even though I touched them, they still went home lepers at the end of the day." But then he begins to realize what the "greater things" are:
"The miracles that Jesus performed were not simply showcases of His mighty power; they were the full expression of His LOVE for those He healed. It wasn't that Jesus healed a leper but that He TOUCHED a leper, because no one touched lepers. And the incredible thing about that love is that it now lives inside of us. In fact, the power of miraculous spectacle was the temptation He faced in the desert - to turn stones to bread or to fling Himself from the temple. But what has lasting significance were not the miracles themselves, but Jesus' love. Jesus raised His friend Lazarus from the dead, and a few years later, Lazarus died again. He fed the thousands, but the next day they were hungry again. Jesus healed the sick, but they eventually caught some other disease. But what we remember is His love."
It pains me to think of all the times I've looked at the shoreline covered in starfish (another Mother Theresa reference), and thought, "There's nothing I can do here." And as she begins tossing the starfish back into the water one by one, I can imagine her saying, "It's not about being successful in doing great things (like saving all these starfish), but rather it's about being faithful in doing each small thing with great love and devotion." Oh, how often I've measured myself by success as the world would measure
Another thing about this section that encourages me is that Shane talks about all of us (collectively) being the Body of Christ, and that the "greater things" Jesus talks about are because the radical love that lived inside of Jesus now lives within each of us, and it is when we come together to serve others in love that those "greater things" can start happening.
After Shane would help treat and bandage each of the lepers he met in the clinics of Calcutta, they would whisper in his ear, "Namaste." While there is no real Western equivalent to "namaste," roughly translated, it means "I honor the Holy One who lives in you." I believe when Jesus said that where two or more are gathered in His Name, He is there with them, He wasn't just talking about being among us as a separate spiritual entity. I think He was also talking about each of us seeing Him in each other, that WE would become "Jesus with skin on" for each other. I know this isn't a new concept, but it's just something that God brought to my mind, and I can't help but feel that, for far too long, I've taken that responsibility for granted, to love my neighbors the way Jesus loves them, to become Jesus with skin on for them whenever possible.
Becoming "Jesus with skin on" first became very real to me while I was working at Metropolitan Ministries, every day encountering new people who were not so different than you and I when it comes to our inseparable need for love. Looking back, I can't even begin to understand how God brought me through that period in my life, and while it was often difficult, I'm also very grateful for Him revealing a part of Himself to me each and every day through the eyes of the poor. And the conversations I had with people as I sat with them in those offices, as they poured their hearts out, those will always stay with me. There were plenty of times when I would cry alone in my office at the end of the day for a good 5 minutes just to find a release for the brokenness I felt for the people who came to us, and many times I felt like I was staring at the shoreline covered in suffocating starfish. But my supervisors also taught me to take great joy in the small victories we had, and those were the shining moments that got me through the difficult days. We are called not to be successful [in great things], but to be faithful [in little things].
Wow, I had no intention of this post getting to be this long. Haha. Sorry, guys. Be safe.
In the midst of reading "The Irresistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne for the "n"th time (I really have lost track), the section he dedicates to talking about his experiences working alongside Mother Theresa among the leper colonies of Calcutta struck me with such force that I had to try and put my speeding thoughts down on "paper," so please forgive me if the post seems rushed or doesn't make sense at some points.
Jesus says in John 14:12, "Very truly I tell you, all who have faith in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." Shane writes that though he was hard at work during his time in Calcutta, he "hadn't healed any lepers yet. Even though I touched them, they still went home lepers at the end of the day." But then he begins to realize what the "greater things" are:
"The miracles that Jesus performed were not simply showcases of His mighty power; they were the full expression of His LOVE for those He healed. It wasn't that Jesus healed a leper but that He TOUCHED a leper, because no one touched lepers. And the incredible thing about that love is that it now lives inside of us. In fact, the power of miraculous spectacle was the temptation He faced in the desert - to turn stones to bread or to fling Himself from the temple. But what has lasting significance were not the miracles themselves, but Jesus' love. Jesus raised His friend Lazarus from the dead, and a few years later, Lazarus died again. He fed the thousands, but the next day they were hungry again. Jesus healed the sick, but they eventually caught some other disease. But what we remember is His love."
It pains me to think of all the times I've looked at the shoreline covered in starfish (another Mother Theresa reference), and thought, "There's nothing I can do here." And as she begins tossing the starfish back into the water one by one, I can imagine her saying, "It's not about being successful in doing great things (like saving all these starfish), but rather it's about being faithful in doing each small thing with great love and devotion." Oh, how often I've measured myself by success as the world would measure
Another thing about this section that encourages me is that Shane talks about all of us (collectively) being the Body of Christ, and that the "greater things" Jesus talks about are because the radical love that lived inside of Jesus now lives within each of us, and it is when we come together to serve others in love that those "greater things" can start happening.
After Shane would help treat and bandage each of the lepers he met in the clinics of Calcutta, they would whisper in his ear, "Namaste." While there is no real Western equivalent to "namaste," roughly translated, it means "I honor the Holy One who lives in you." I believe when Jesus said that where two or more are gathered in His Name, He is there with them, He wasn't just talking about being among us as a separate spiritual entity. I think He was also talking about each of us seeing Him in each other, that WE would become "Jesus with skin on" for each other. I know this isn't a new concept, but it's just something that God brought to my mind, and I can't help but feel that, for far too long, I've taken that responsibility for granted, to love my neighbors the way Jesus loves them, to become Jesus with skin on for them whenever possible.
Becoming "Jesus with skin on" first became very real to me while I was working at Metropolitan Ministries, every day encountering new people who were not so different than you and I when it comes to our inseparable need for love. Looking back, I can't even begin to understand how God brought me through that period in my life, and while it was often difficult, I'm also very grateful for Him revealing a part of Himself to me each and every day through the eyes of the poor. And the conversations I had with people as I sat with them in those offices, as they poured their hearts out, those will always stay with me. There were plenty of times when I would cry alone in my office at the end of the day for a good 5 minutes just to find a release for the brokenness I felt for the people who came to us, and many times I felt like I was staring at the shoreline covered in suffocating starfish. But my supervisors also taught me to take great joy in the small victories we had, and those were the shining moments that got me through the difficult days. We are called not to be successful [in great things], but to be faithful [in little things].
Wow, I had no intention of this post getting to be this long. Haha. Sorry, guys. Be safe.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Juuust great...
So this past Wednesday was...rough to say the least. So in the spirit of venting, I'll start at the night before, when this whole fiasco started.
Tuesday night, I'm sleeping in my room at 11, and I get woken up by something tickling my face. So I wake up, and in the dim light coming in through my window, I realized that it's a 3-inch long centipede. On my face. So I smacked it off as quick as I could, and turned the light on to look for where the thing had landed. Needless to say, it was out of sight by then. The entire rest of the night, all 7 hours before I needed to wake up, I couldn't sleep.
So I'm getting ready to head to school after getting a grand total of 2 hours of sleep, and I grab the new sandals I'd bought to wear at the school (because they don't normally make shoes in size 12, so I had to buy it handmade...not cheap). School is a little rough, because, like I said, I got 2 hours of sleep before tackling an 8-hour day. I get done teaching, and the vice principal sends me home an hour early, around 3:25. So I go down to the bus stop to catch the 3:35 bus to the train station to head home. I'm waiting out there for an hour before I realized "Well, I guess there is no 3:35 bus. Oh, here comes the 4:35 bus." The bus takes me to the train station, and I ride the train to the stop near my house.
I get off at my stop, and I walk about 500 meters to the local convenience store to pick up a drink before taking the bus to my house, and as soon as I get to the store, I realize I'd forgotten the plastic bag with my new sandals on the train. So I drop what I was doing, run out of the store, and run all the way back to the train station to try and catch it before it leaves. I get there before the train takes off, but as I'm searching through each of the cars to try and find the bag with my sandals in them, the train leaves to go to the next station. So I'm not only without my sandals, but now I'm stuck leaving to the next station, and I'm already late for getting home. Luckily, my cousin was driving by the next station on the way home when I called her, so she came and picked me up. I guess there was someone else who needed size 12 sandals for their feet more than I did...
And Man U lost the Champions League finals. Juuust great.
Okay, done ranting.
Tuesday night, I'm sleeping in my room at 11, and I get woken up by something tickling my face. So I wake up, and in the dim light coming in through my window, I realized that it's a 3-inch long centipede. On my face. So I smacked it off as quick as I could, and turned the light on to look for where the thing had landed. Needless to say, it was out of sight by then. The entire rest of the night, all 7 hours before I needed to wake up, I couldn't sleep.
So I'm getting ready to head to school after getting a grand total of 2 hours of sleep, and I grab the new sandals I'd bought to wear at the school (because they don't normally make shoes in size 12, so I had to buy it handmade...not cheap). School is a little rough, because, like I said, I got 2 hours of sleep before tackling an 8-hour day. I get done teaching, and the vice principal sends me home an hour early, around 3:25. So I go down to the bus stop to catch the 3:35 bus to the train station to head home. I'm waiting out there for an hour before I realized "Well, I guess there is no 3:35 bus. Oh, here comes the 4:35 bus." The bus takes me to the train station, and I ride the train to the stop near my house.
I get off at my stop, and I walk about 500 meters to the local convenience store to pick up a drink before taking the bus to my house, and as soon as I get to the store, I realize I'd forgotten the plastic bag with my new sandals on the train. So I drop what I was doing, run out of the store, and run all the way back to the train station to try and catch it before it leaves. I get there before the train takes off, but as I'm searching through each of the cars to try and find the bag with my sandals in them, the train leaves to go to the next station. So I'm not only without my sandals, but now I'm stuck leaving to the next station, and I'm already late for getting home. Luckily, my cousin was driving by the next station on the way home when I called her, so she came and picked me up. I guess there was someone else who needed size 12 sandals for their feet more than I did...
And Man U lost the Champions League finals. Juuust great.
Okay, done ranting.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Well, THIS is no good...
I would spend a little time writing here, but I've gotta start on the gauntlet of a teaching day that is my Fridays, so here it is:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090528/ap_on_re_as/as_koreas_nuclear
Crap.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090528/ap_on_re_as/as_koreas_nuclear
Crap.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Ever been Asian in a crowded subway?
I was riding the subway back from around Seoul yesterday evening (I had to go there to shop for sandals to wear in school because they don't sell the size 12s I need anywhere else), and there were so many people on the subway train that I was lucky to find a handhold near the door. As we took off on the hour-and-a-half subway ride back to the station near my house, I stood there in this crowded subway car barreling through the tunnels, the lights flashing by the windows, everyone else talking and laughing and showing each other what they bought, and all of a sudden, I got this strange feeling.
I was alone. It really hit me like a brick, this feeling that I might as well have been riding that train with no one else around. The four teenagers at the far end of the train were laughing with each other over their friend's purchase of a pink cell phone cover. The young adult couple in the seat I was standing closest to were having a dispute about whether to see a movie or go bowling that night with friends. The elderly woman in the "special seating" section at the front of the car was leaning her head on her husband, apparently sleeping. And without warning, I began to picture some of my friends being there with me, to laugh with, talk with, argue with, and all that stuff that we so easily take for granted. Then I started to think about some of the stupid stuff I've done with them, and the great times we'd spent together, and especially some of the tough talks we've had. And all of a sudden, without warning, I was alone on that train. I don't mean to sound melodramatic, I'm simply being honest about how I felt right then.
But in the very next moment, I caught myself, and realized that I was still too preoccupied thinking only of myself and my situation, that I could very well be missing important opportunities to show love to others here. And the only reason I wrote about me feeling lonely is because it immediately led to the redirection of my feelings and sentiments of being here.
Yes, I'm away from my family. Yes, I don't have very many friends here, and the very few I do have so far live too far away to see on a regular basis. Yes, it gets very lonely very quickly for me. But I also know I mustn't lose focus on the reason God has me here in this place, at this moment.
Also, as a short update, I'm teaching at the local elementary and middle schools near where I live, and the teachers have been very nice and welcoming. The kids I teach are awesome (most of them), and the majority of them love to ask questions, especially of American life (although I'm still having a tough time answering the question, "Why do American Burger Kings serve triple Whoppers?" Someone help me out?). And the food here is awesome! I'm actually looking forward to trying anything new they want to give me here. Just last week, I had octopus tentacles that were still moving (I definitely recommend it for the less-squimish). As before, though, I miss everyone back home, and I can't wait until I get a chance to come back. Take care, everyone.
I was alone. It really hit me like a brick, this feeling that I might as well have been riding that train with no one else around. The four teenagers at the far end of the train were laughing with each other over their friend's purchase of a pink cell phone cover. The young adult couple in the seat I was standing closest to were having a dispute about whether to see a movie or go bowling that night with friends. The elderly woman in the "special seating" section at the front of the car was leaning her head on her husband, apparently sleeping. And without warning, I began to picture some of my friends being there with me, to laugh with, talk with, argue with, and all that stuff that we so easily take for granted. Then I started to think about some of the stupid stuff I've done with them, and the great times we'd spent together, and especially some of the tough talks we've had. And all of a sudden, without warning, I was alone on that train. I don't mean to sound melodramatic, I'm simply being honest about how I felt right then.
But in the very next moment, I caught myself, and realized that I was still too preoccupied thinking only of myself and my situation, that I could very well be missing important opportunities to show love to others here. And the only reason I wrote about me feeling lonely is because it immediately led to the redirection of my feelings and sentiments of being here.
Yes, I'm away from my family. Yes, I don't have very many friends here, and the very few I do have so far live too far away to see on a regular basis. Yes, it gets very lonely very quickly for me. But I also know I mustn't lose focus on the reason God has me here in this place, at this moment.
Also, as a short update, I'm teaching at the local elementary and middle schools near where I live, and the teachers have been very nice and welcoming. The kids I teach are awesome (most of them), and the majority of them love to ask questions, especially of American life (although I'm still having a tough time answering the question, "Why do American Burger Kings serve triple Whoppers?" Someone help me out?). And the food here is awesome! I'm actually looking forward to trying anything new they want to give me here. Just last week, I had octopus tentacles that were still moving (I definitely recommend it for the less-squimish). As before, though, I miss everyone back home, and I can't wait until I get a chance to come back. Take care, everyone.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Schrödinger's Cat...
There was an experiment done back in 1935 where Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger and Albert Einstein were exchanging letters discussing an article that Einstein had co-written called the EPR article [named after its authors: Einstein, Podolsky, and Rosen] which highlighted the strange nature of quantum superpositions (the collection of all possible states of a system at a given point in time).
To make a long story short, "Schrödinger's cat" refers to a theoretical experiment proposed by Schrödinger that if a live cat was put into a box with a vial of poison, and the vial broke open at a seemingly-random instant (won't get into the details of subatomic particles and Geiger counters and all that), then until the box is opened, the cat exists (in theory) in a state of being both alive AND dead, and the only way to eliminate the theories and be absolutely sure is to open the box. [This is a grossly oversimplified version of the experiment, meant only to serve as a launching point for discussion, so if there are any physicists out there, please forgive me.]
My point is, this was something that seemed like a very simple concept when I first read about it (we don't know until we know, right?). But the more I thought about the illustrations and its implications on my life up until now, the more I can't help but realize, to my great shame, that I've too often left the cat in the box, afraid to open it and find it dead. So instead of taking the risk of finding it dead by opening the box, I would consistently leave the box unopened, and simply be content with the theory that the cat inside COULD be alive. This is a fear that I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. I don't know what initially brought about this fear, but it very often leads to indecision and inaction on my part, whether dealing with family, school, jobs, relationships, etc. Everything suffers from this illogical fear.
This is one of the many things that I hope God leads me through during my time here in Korea. I can't tell you how many times I've lost out on opportunities to see God move in situations where I needed Him to, simply because I refused to open the box. This is also a significant part of the reason why I chose to come here, because I'd left that box unopened for far too long, and it's time to dive in despite my mountain of fears and insecurities.
I'll be back in the next few days to give an update on how things are going here. Thank you for all your prayers and support!
To make a long story short, "Schrödinger's cat" refers to a theoretical experiment proposed by Schrödinger that if a live cat was put into a box with a vial of poison, and the vial broke open at a seemingly-random instant (won't get into the details of subatomic particles and Geiger counters and all that), then until the box is opened, the cat exists (in theory) in a state of being both alive AND dead, and the only way to eliminate the theories and be absolutely sure is to open the box. [This is a grossly oversimplified version of the experiment, meant only to serve as a launching point for discussion, so if there are any physicists out there, please forgive me.]
My point is, this was something that seemed like a very simple concept when I first read about it (we don't know until we know, right?). But the more I thought about the illustrations and its implications on my life up until now, the more I can't help but realize, to my great shame, that I've too often left the cat in the box, afraid to open it and find it dead. So instead of taking the risk of finding it dead by opening the box, I would consistently leave the box unopened, and simply be content with the theory that the cat inside COULD be alive. This is a fear that I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. I don't know what initially brought about this fear, but it very often leads to indecision and inaction on my part, whether dealing with family, school, jobs, relationships, etc. Everything suffers from this illogical fear.
This is one of the many things that I hope God leads me through during my time here in Korea. I can't tell you how many times I've lost out on opportunities to see God move in situations where I needed Him to, simply because I refused to open the box. This is also a significant part of the reason why I chose to come here, because I'd left that box unopened for far too long, and it's time to dive in despite my mountain of fears and insecurities.
I'll be back in the next few days to give an update on how things are going here. Thank you for all your prayers and support!
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