Juuust great...

So this past Wednesday was...rough to say the least. So in the spirit of venting, I'll start at the night before, when this whole fiasco started.

Tuesday night, I'm sleeping in my room at 11, and I get woken up by something tickling my face. So I wake up, and in the dim light coming in through my window, I realized that it's a 3-inch long centipede. On my face. So I smacked it off as quick as I could, and turned the light on to look for where the thing had landed. Needless to say, it was out of sight by then. The entire rest of the night, all 7 hours before I needed to wake up, I couldn't sleep.

So I'm getting ready to head to school after getting a grand total of 2 hours of sleep, and I grab the new sandals I'd bought to wear at the school (because they don't normally make shoes in size 12, so I had to buy it handmade...not cheap). School is a little rough, because, like I said, I got 2 hours of sleep before tackling an 8-hour day. I get done teaching, and the vice principal sends me home an hour early, around 3:25. So I go down to the bus stop to catch the 3:35 bus to the train station to head home. I'm waiting out there for an hour before I realized "Well, I guess there is no 3:35 bus. Oh, here comes the 4:35 bus." The bus takes me to the train station, and I ride the train to the stop near my house.

I get off at my stop, and I walk about 500 meters to the local convenience store to pick up a drink before taking the bus to my house, and as soon as I get to the store, I realize I'd forgotten the plastic bag with my new sandals on the train. So I drop what I was doing, run out of the store, and run all the way back to the train station to try and catch it before it leaves. I get there before the train takes off, but as I'm searching through each of the cars to try and find the bag with my sandals in them, the train leaves to go to the next station. So I'm not only without my sandals, but now I'm stuck leaving to the next station, and I'm already late for getting home. Luckily, my cousin was driving by the next station on the way home when I called her, so she came and picked me up. I guess there was someone else who needed size 12 sandals for their feet more than I did...

And Man U lost the Champions League finals. Juuust great.

Okay, done ranting.

Well, THIS is no good...

I would spend a little time writing here, but I've gotta start on the gauntlet of a teaching day that is my Fridays, so here it is:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090528/ap_on_re_as/as_koreas_nuclear

Crap.

Ever been Asian in a crowded subway?

I was riding the subway back from around Seoul yesterday evening (I had to go there to shop for sandals to wear in school because they don't sell the size 12s I need anywhere else), and there were so many people on the subway train that I was lucky to find a handhold near the door. As we took off on the hour-and-a-half subway ride back to the station near my house, I stood there in this crowded subway car barreling through the tunnels, the lights flashing by the windows, everyone else talking and laughing and showing each other what they bought, and all of a sudden, I got this strange feeling.

I was alone. It really hit me like a brick, this feeling that I might as well have been riding that train with no one else around. The four teenagers at the far end of the train were laughing with each other over their friend's purchase of a pink cell phone cover. The young adult couple in the seat I was standing closest to were having a dispute about whether to see a movie or go bowling that night with friends. The elderly woman in the "special seating" section at the front of the car was leaning her head on her husband, apparently sleeping. And without warning, I began to picture some of my friends being there with me, to laugh with, talk with, argue with, and all that stuff that we so easily take for granted. Then I started to think about some of the stupid stuff I've done with them, and the great times we'd spent together, and especially some of the tough talks we've had. And all of a sudden, without warning, I was alone on that train. I don't mean to sound melodramatic, I'm simply being honest about how I felt right then.

But in the very next moment, I caught myself, and realized that I was still too preoccupied thinking only of myself and my situation, that I could very well be missing important opportunities to show love to others here. And the only reason I wrote about me feeling lonely is because it immediately led to the redirection of my feelings and sentiments of being here.

Yes, I'm away from my family. Yes, I don't have very many friends here, and the very few I do have so far live too far away to see on a regular basis. Yes, it gets very lonely very quickly for me. But I also know I mustn't lose focus on the reason God has me here in this place, at this moment.

Also, as a short update, I'm teaching at the local elementary and middle schools near where I live, and the teachers have been very nice and welcoming. The kids I teach are awesome (most of them), and the majority of them love to ask questions, especially of American life (although I'm still having a tough time answering the question, "Why do American Burger Kings serve triple Whoppers?" Someone help me out?). And the food here is awesome! I'm actually looking forward to trying anything new they want to give me here. Just last week, I had octopus tentacles that were still moving (I definitely recommend it for the less-squimish). As before, though, I miss everyone back home, and I can't wait until I get a chance to come back. Take care, everyone.

Schrödinger's Cat...

There was an experiment done back in 1935 where Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger and Albert Einstein were exchanging letters discussing an article that Einstein had co-written called the EPR article [named after its authors: Einstein, Podolsky, and Rosen] which highlighted the strange nature of quantum superpositions (the collection of all possible states of a system at a given point in time).

To make a long story short, "Schrödinger's cat" refers to a theoretical experiment proposed by Schrödinger that if a live cat was put into a box with a vial of poison, and the vial broke open at a seemingly-random instant (won't get into the details of subatomic particles and Geiger counters and all that), then until the box is opened, the cat exists (in theory) in a state of being both alive AND dead, and the only way to eliminate the theories and be absolutely sure is to open the box. [This is a grossly oversimplified version of the experiment, meant only to serve as a launching point for discussion, so if there are any physicists out there, please forgive me.]

My point is, this was something that seemed like a very simple concept when I first read about it (we don't know until we know, right?). But the more I thought about the illustrations and its implications on my life up until now, the more I can't help but realize, to my great shame, that I've too often left the cat in the box, afraid to open it and find it dead. So instead of taking the risk of finding it dead by opening the box, I would consistently leave the box unopened, and simply be content with the theory that the cat inside COULD be alive. This is a fear that I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. I don't know what initially brought about this fear, but it very often leads to indecision and inaction on my part, whether dealing with family, school, jobs, relationships, etc. Everything suffers from this illogical fear.

This is one of the many things that I hope God leads me through during my time here in Korea. I can't tell you how many times I've lost out on opportunities to see God move in situations where I needed Him to, simply because I refused to open the box. This is also a significant part of the reason why I chose to come here, because I'd left that box unopened for far too long, and it's time to dive in despite my mountain of fears and insecurities.

I'll be back in the next few days to give an update on how things are going here. Thank you for all your prayers and support!